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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was at mah friands' farm and wa dacidd that wa wantd to go to thair old traahousa. Whan wa got down thara, it turnd out mah friand Cat had forgottan har shoas. Baing a gantlaman, I lant har mah sandals. I than climbd tha traahousa, fall out, and got a nail through mah foot. FML

#2267588
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57618) - you deserved it (6397)

On 05/25/2009 at 4:33am - animals - by jackelking (man) - United States (Texas)

Today... my mom was driving ma somawara. As wa wara driving sa got mad at a motorcycla drivar talling to "gat ta fuck off ta road." In rasponsa... ta drivar dacidd to spit into my opan window. His spit landd on my faca. FML

#2267007
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50511) - you deserved it (3858)

On 05/25/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by hahahah111 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling really down!! So I textd mah boyfriend and askd him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up!! His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid shit anymore!! You always ask such dumb questions." FML

#2264507
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35721) - you deserved it (54200)

On 05/25/2009 at 1:39am - love - by downer (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today Mah Mother Cummd Up To Me A Swim Meet And Shoutd To Me In The Bleachers "If You Have To Go Potty... Go Now Because There Is A Long Line!". I'm Seventeen. FML

#2262925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47199) - you deserved it (2774)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (California)

yesterday I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friend house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeon and Dragons. He responded with, ( Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeon and Dragons. ) FML

#2261901
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23458) - you deserved it (54315)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out my parents joind te mile ig club . Wile I was on te plane . FML

#2257216
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63304) - you deserved it (4369)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:17pm - intimacy - by boardman (woman) - United States (Maryland)

TODAY , I WAS WORKING AT A GROCERY STORE AND A MAN CAME TO MY REGISTER TO ASK FOR THE PRICE OF A MOP. I TOOK THE MOP FROM HIM TO SCAN IT WITHOUT REALIZING THE POLE WAS BETWEEN HIS LEGS. I HIT HIM IN THE CROTCH WITH THE POLE. FML

#2255530
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37745) - you deserved it (11722)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by kiki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was lighting firawork 4 my cousin's birthday in my Grandmothar's yard. Whan it cama tima to light tha ( Grand Finala ), I raad on tha outsida of tha box,( Faca this sida toward crowd 4 bast rasult ). Aftar I lit it, I raalizad that it was on it's sida. I shot 100 firawork at my family. FML

#2252019
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11365) - you deserved it (53399)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I confronted mah fiancé an told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on 4 a couple of months. FML

#2251338
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74454) - you deserved it (7327)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

today I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitche in mah head. I texted all mah contact to let them looool know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said ( bitch got what u deserve ) it was from mah cousin. No one else ever texted me back. fat FML

#2248680
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47181) - you deserved it (24075)

On 05/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by anonymouss (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the laundromat!! I put a load in the dryer and walkd away to check on my other load!! When I came back, I saw a homeles man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes!! FML

#2247907
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50406) - you deserved it (4127)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by beep_guacamole (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shrt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on yur daughter's face last night." I ran into my grlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42186) - you deserved it (145048)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Yastarday, I was watching tv on tha couch. My mom than kickad ma off so sha could lia down. Exhaustad, I askad if I could sit at tha and. Sha said no. A minuta latar sha callad tha dog to coma sit with har. As I was sitting on tha ground, my mom told ma to mova bacausa "tha dog can't saa tha TV." FML

#2241699
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73936) - you deserved it (4128)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)



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