Today, I bought myself a flower for Valentine's Day to be delivered to myself from "Anonymous". FML

by mike4444 / 02/12/2010 at 1:11pm / Love

Today, I realized I can never live with my fiancée. A childhood of systematic teasing, abuse, and humiliation has made me terrified to use a bathroom around a guy if there's the slightest chance I can be heard, seen, or even have anyone know what I'm up to. Therapy has yet to fix anything. FML

by silentsuzie / 02/12/2010 at 10:23am / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML

by JustMyLuck / 02/12/2010 at 9:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

by Stressy / 02/12/2010 at 6:39am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Health

Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML

by Jeri / 02/12/2010 at 3:41am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my cell phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss decided to dock my hours. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML

by a / 02/12/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

by pinky / 02/12/2010 at 12:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

hjrn's comment : you so need to report that!!!

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Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

by NotSoSick / 02/12/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML

by anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 12:03am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, we had our second snow day in a row, something that never happens. So while the rest of school got to sleep late, I had to wake up early, get dressed, and go to my bus stop because my mom didn't believe me. FML

by goestoschoolonsnowdays / 02/12/2010 at 12:02am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

by Female / 02/11/2010 at 10:32pm / United States / Work