Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

#6035078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17229) - you deserved it (34081)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

#6034083
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (2956)

On 10/28/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by bubblensuds1 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

#6030769
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22444) - you deserved it (3718)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by timmynotjimmy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Ninjaface's comment : You reply by screwing her brains out then and there. That way you're killing two birds with one stone: you get laid and she shuts up.

See all the comments →

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

#6030551
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44803) - you deserved it (2687)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by hey-ooo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML

#6029729
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8654) - you deserved it (32244)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by Kailey (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML

#6029575
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34262) - you deserved it (4571)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by ilovemybrother (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

#6028042
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49724) - you deserved it (2630)

On 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I noticed that I've been spelling my company's name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML

#6027287
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8288) - you deserved it (42404)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:24pm - work - by nobodyreadsmyemails (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML

#6026948
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30781) - you deserved it (6356)

On 10/27/2009 at 5:57pm - love - by Queen_of_Night (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my tax return. I was really excited. Turns out the government does take the time to send out a tax return for $1.36. FML

#6025394
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30730) - you deserved it (3875)

On 10/27/2009 at 4:10pm - money - by nicolo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML

Today, I realized that the only thing I learned from my first serious relationship was how to fake an orgasm. FML

#6024374
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (4724)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by kjirut (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

#6024330
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (7690)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:46pm - health - by opposableouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: