Today, I went for a job interview I scheduled 3 weeks ago. I spent $200 on a new suit to really impress them and practised like crazy every imaginable question they could ask. They already had filled the position 2 weeks ago and forgot to inform me. FML

by kristine29 / 02/03/2010 at 11:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did great, I passed out. FML

by Sherlock / 02/03/2010 at 11:02am / Health

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

by lonestar / 02/03/2010 at 8:57am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

by Scaredshitless / 02/03/2010 at 8:48am / Health

Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML

by sadface / 02/03/2010 at 6:58am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

by notaprossie / 02/03/2010 at 3:42am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

pjfromok's comment : Why would you go to a "dress up" party and not dress up??? They are going to assume you are dressed up. Fail.

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Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

by rainey / 02/03/2010 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML

by hotandbothered / 02/03/2010 at 1:24am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

by olyswimmer / 02/03/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

by Brittany / 02/03/2010 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after almost nine months of doing anything and everything to show my love for my girlfriend and make her happy, she told me she would give "anything" to relive the one week of her and her ex's relationship where she was the happiest in her life. FML

by redjesus69 / 02/02/2010 at 10:52pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

by nonameLiz / 02/02/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on Craigslist looking for a new guitar. I found the diamond earrings and necklace set I gave to my girlfriend last year. She wants 50 bucks for them. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 7:12pm / United States (Nevada) / Love