Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML

by Nchristine / 05/27/2010 at 4:59pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

by reginaphalange / 05/27/2010 at 10:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2010 at 12:10am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2010 at 10:30pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I found out I'm allergic to the pills my doctor prescribed for coughing, which I really need because I ripped a muscle in my stomach. Now my whole upper body is covered in a terrible itchy rash. I also found out it will last for at least another week. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2010 at 4:14pm / Switzerland (Geneve) / Health

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

by Sarahfizzeller / 05/26/2010 at 4:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

by noraidk / 05/26/2010 at 2:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2010 at 11:54am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I fell down the stairs carrying a huge TV. Don't worry, my body cushioned the TV's fall. FML

by hatestomove / 05/26/2010 at 10:21am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going great, I was so happy, until he started talking non-stop about the extent of his foot fetish. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2010 at 8:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

by pandasbear / 05/26/2010 at 4:18am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

by kaylajere / 05/26/2010 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Health