Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

#2212
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4310) - you deserved it (38192)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:34pm - love - by Princeton - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

#2177
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5596) - you deserved it (20990)

On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

#2174
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15104) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:22am - health - by radiant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

#2172
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12729) - you deserved it (23801)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:14am - misc - by insearch4i - United States (Arizona)

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

#2165
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4192) - you deserved it (25875)

On 01/22/2009 at 9:38am - misc - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I work for a boss who does everything he can to singlehandedly ruin our company and drive us into the ground. I just got an e-mail from him saying I need to be a more positive and energetic role-model for our team. Pot… meet Kettle. FML

#2158
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13050) - you deserved it (1685)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:45am - work - by DarkPain - United States (California)

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

#2154
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7396) - you deserved it (52572)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Benji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. As bent down to put my pen away, my Blizzard somehow defied the laws of gravity and fell on me. FML

#2150
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13645) - you deserved it (3270)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:10am - love - by sadtimes - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I drove to my university to pick up forms and books. When I parked at 2:58 there was 30 mins on the meter. I returned at 3:32 only to find a parking ticket issued at 3:31. The worst part is, the books were not available until next week and I could've got the forms online. FML

#2149
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14436) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by unifail - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML

#2137
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36685) - you deserved it (1859)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

#2132
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2704) - you deserved it (18353)

On 01/22/2009 at 2:02am - misc - by JBone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13928) - you deserved it (2497)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8824) - you deserved it (29413)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: