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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

#2272
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14901) - you deserved it (6036)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:41am - love - by twat - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51490) - you deserved it (6997)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (7812)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML

#2247
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9918) - you deserved it (1562)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6028) - you deserved it (22514)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)

Today, my ex-boyfriend who I am still in love with sends me a text message that says "I miss you, baby". It turns out my name comes right after his girlfriend's name on his contact list. FML

#2236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20140) - you deserved it (1484)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by yeah... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was offered a promotion but for the same pay. Promotion... WTF? FML

#2234
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (1640)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:35pm - work - by Promo girl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hard core porn ads inside. I have been getting these since i ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother-in-law was getting the mail. FML

#2226
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4975) - you deserved it (19268)

On 01/22/2009 at 4:31pm - love - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

#2215
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19402) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

#2212
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4310) - you deserved it (38191)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:34pm - love - by Princeton - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

#2177
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5596) - you deserved it (20990)

On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

#2174
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15104) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:22am - health - by radiant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

#2172
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12728) - you deserved it (23800)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:14am - misc - by insearch4i - United States (Arizona)



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