Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (4894)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when i'm drunk. I asked, "what about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

#2422
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14476) - you deserved it (2749)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by the-yao - United States (California)

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (6718)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend that I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlock our flat to see that the place was a mess. She had thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

#2411
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23586) - you deserved it (1724)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:41am - love - by NJ - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally finished my 500 page manuscript and so went out to buy some paper to print it off. I get back home and find out my dad has infected my computer with a virus and the only way to save it was to wipe the hard drive, which he did. That script took me a year and I have no backup. FML

#2406
5 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33223) - you deserved it (21994)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by David3000 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML

#2397
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5803) - you deserved it (24469)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:27pm - love - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

#2388
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19042) - you deserved it (1829)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18617) - you deserved it (9126)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

#2379
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (1760)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

#2357
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12074) - you deserved it (36575)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)

Today, the first guy I've ever loved is going to a fancy rush party with my best friend. He did tell me he needed space to think about us this whole weekend. I guess I know what he's been thinking. FML

#2350
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13998) - you deserved it (1352)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:13pm - love - by sleepy125 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

#2349
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21224) - you deserved it (7251)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by Sleep Walking - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML

#2341
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12726) - you deserved it (12421)

On 01/23/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)



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