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Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

#3894865
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53774) - you deserved it (3102)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

#3891505
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48614) - you deserved it (2376)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44458) - you deserved it (18285)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

#3890041
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (222729) - you deserved it (14042)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML

#3889146
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37458) - you deserved it (12243)

On 07/19/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML

#3886225
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43921) - you deserved it (6473)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by Tasty (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I checked an old photosharing account. I got a new phone last year and didn't realize all the pictures I took with the new phone would still automatically upload to my account. Unknowingly, I posted naked pics of myself online. Not one of my friends told me. FML

#3884165
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13912) - you deserved it (51337)

On 07/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by nudie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML

#3882567
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47711) - you deserved it (5063)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Churizmo - United States

Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML

#3880719
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44051) - you deserved it (4471)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by adalia (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I got a letter in the mail about my periodic health assessment for active duty Soldiers. I came back positive for two curable STD's that are extremely common on Fort Polk. I haven't had sex with anyone but my wife. FML

#3880304
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74982) - you deserved it (3764)

On 07/19/2009 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by kareed3 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML

#3879305
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49518) - you deserved it (4227)

On 07/19/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by phlyingphuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML

#3878606
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35136) - you deserved it (27527)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:14am - animals - by Isabelle18 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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