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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

#3008
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17995) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

#2985
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5878) - you deserved it (25410)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:15am - love - by dieold - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up at 5:15, snow blowed and salted the driveway for over an hour, left early and drove an hour on shitty roads just to get to work on time only to be laid off. FML

#2983
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (925)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:13am - work - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

#2979
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17170) - you deserved it (1456)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:47am - love - by uninspired - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML

#2972
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22386) - you deserved it (2052)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

#2960
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14921) - you deserved it (35587)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:24am - work - by carboat - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy some Ibuprofen and got asked for ID. You have to be over 16 to buy it. I'm 25. FML

#2946
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17052) - you deserved it (2070)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by noneoftheabove - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my friend mentioned a book that reminded her of me, when I asked what it was called she said "He's just not that into you". FML

#2931
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16942) - you deserved it (1718)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by Oh really - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27737) - you deserved it (8704)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML

#2866
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19632) - you deserved it (1497)

On 01/27/2009 at 3:02pm - work - by Ren - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

#2862
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24482) - you deserved it (2337)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Noname - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17940) - you deserved it (1429)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

#2857
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5087) - you deserved it (16677)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)



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