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Today, as ma boyfriend and I were messing around in is room e took off ma underwear. As e was about to go down on me I spread ma legs to elp out ten e looked up at looool me and said, "You got some toilet paper left beind." FML

#2874076
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37436) - you deserved it (58562)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

looool Today , my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walkd by with number cards. My friend,ho is a guy , got an 8. I got a 2. FML

#2873732
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40798) - you deserved it (4072)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by number2 - United States (California)

Today, was my senior prom. I've ad a crus on my date 4 monts, but after many attempt at grinding wit im and sexy seduction, e rejectd me saying e was a good Catolic boy. I later found out tat not only is e in touc wit is religion, but intimately in touc wit oter boys. mega FML

#2871893
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44631) - you deserved it (6334)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY , I MET A CUTE GIRL AT A DANCE CLUB. I ENTERED ER NUMBER IN MY PONE JUST BEFORE SE LEFT TE CLUB. WIT A PROUD SMILE , I TURNED TE SCREEN TOWARDS MY BUDDY , SOWING OFF MY ACCOMPLISMENT. ATTEMPTING TO GIVE ME A FRIENDLY PAT E ACCIDENTALLY CLOSED MY PONE. I ADN'T SAVED TE NUMBER. FML

#2870755
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37865) - you deserved it (15947)

On 06/13/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by philderichmond (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning an thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML

#2867945
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54091) - you deserved it (8138)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Yesterday, mah sister an I got fittd fir bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off mah bright pink thong an left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman cummd out of the room holding mah thong. She had trid it on. FML

#2867834
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45074) - you deserved it (9914)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by anonymous1 - United States (California)

Yastarday, I Found Out Tha Idantity Of Tha Parvart Who's Baan Staring At Ma Through Badroom Window In Tha Lata Hours Of Tha Night. My Parants And I Dacidad To Sat Out A Trap 4 'him' Instaad Of Raporting To Our Local Cop. Turns Out, Wa Caught 37 Yaar-old Naighbor In Tha Act. Ha's Tha Cop. FML

#2865123
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45242) - you deserved it (2346)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Meg (woman) - United States (New York)

Yesterday... in the bathroom during the ACTs... my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference... hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. mega FML

#2864467
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33293) - you deserved it (11192)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today... I gave a carpet shampooing demonstration in a stranger's home. To my surprise... thehite expensive carpet was dyd grey due to something in the solution. The owner held me hostage in her house by barracading the door until my manager got there. FML

#2861063
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43800) - you deserved it (7970)

On 06/13/2009 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I Was In Mah Backyard. When I Wantd To Come Back In The House, I Trid To Open The Sliding Door. I Knew That Mah Brother Lockd Me Out So I Bangd On The Door Very Hard, Causing The Glass To Break. It Turns Out That The Door Wasn't Lockd. FML

#2860998
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8442) - you deserved it (47142)

On 06/13/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by knoppad (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today I logged into facebook for the frst time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications they were to tell me that the poker application I used on there ( missed me ) an wanted to give me 10 000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than mah friends. real FML

#2856360
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40186) - you deserved it (6058)

On 06/13/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by Facebook (man) - United States (New Jersey)

I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine.

#2855395
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83894) - you deserved it (3973)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event 4 special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume an greet the kids. One kid cummd up an said "You're not real!" an kickd me in the nuts. FML

#2854895
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50302) - you deserved it (4394)

On 06/13/2009 at 10:42am - kids - by Hackmanjones (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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