Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2010 at 1:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

by *sigh* / 05/22/2010 at 9:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

by ChubbyAmerican / 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

shiftfaced's comment : why would you even answer the phone?

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Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

by lashless / 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I drove 6 hours to make a job interview missing my best friends' wedding. The interview is actually tomorrow. FML

by poncho31 / 05/22/2010 at 4:08am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

by TheComputerGuy96 / 05/22/2010 at 3:56am / Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia) / Money

Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

by knickedleg / 05/22/2010 at 3:03am / Health

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

by guyshithappensto / 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

by Jlipka / 05/21/2010 at 10:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm / United States / Love

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

by Samuel / 05/21/2010 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

by anonymous / 05/21/2010 at 1:26pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals