Today, after twisting my knee playing soccer with my friends, I had to take myself to the hospital. Apparently finishing the game was more important to them. FML

by Sam / 08/20/2010 at 1:34am / United States / Health

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

by notyoueallie / 08/20/2010 at 12:06am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML

by Sara246 / 08/19/2010 at 7:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

by captainocd / 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

kbaker90's comment : Two things: 1. Poor girl. No wonder she's self-conscious. 2. OP, your man card, please. *holds out hand*

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Today, seconds after my mom put my yorkie onto my bed, he threw up. His head was not fully over the bed itself, so the wet chunks fell straight into my backpack onto my new school books. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2010 at 1:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

by feartheend511 / 08/19/2010 at 11:48am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML

by yup okay / 08/19/2010 at 11:28am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML

by ktin / 08/19/2010 at 8:02am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, mine and my boyfriend's concerns that we are too loud in bed were definitely confirmed when his entire family stopped the movie they were watching and vacated the cinema room located directly below us. They returned and resumed a while after we were finished. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2010 at 7:53am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML

by FreeToFly3733 / 08/19/2010 at 7:25am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Geek

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

by divorced / 08/19/2010 at 6:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

 Today, I came home from a long day at work, and heard voices coming from my living room. I thought my house was being robbed so I called 911. Turns out I left the T.V. on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2010 at 4:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed 'Oh my god!' for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a tv into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2010 at 2:32am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy