Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I finally got the courage to go up and ask out the girl I have loved for a couple of months now. After she said yes, I was over the moon and ran home to tell my roommate. The next day, I saw her making out with another man. When I confronted her, she said "Oh, you were serious yesterday?" FML

#4973431
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48127) - you deserved it (3979)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:52am - love - by lovesucks (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

#4972941
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39980) - you deserved it (5141)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44am - work - by spinner (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I'm being evicted from my apartment for not paying rent. My father is the on-site landlord. Meaning I now have to move my stuff downstairs into his place and hear every day how I'm a failure. FML

#4971137
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14130) - you deserved it (42159)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:30am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

#4970470
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41524) - you deserved it (15260)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States

Today, I decided to ride my rusty old bike to work, since it will help the environment. I was standing up and had a tight grip on the handle bars. The handle bars came off and I fell down on the cross bar, busting my nuts. FML

#4967329
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40135) - you deserved it (9516)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:03am - health - by David (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML

#4967264
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23862) - you deserved it (35398)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:00am - animals - by polish_chik - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told the guy I have been sort of dating that I want to connect emotionally before sleeping with him. He told me that he already had an emotional connection with his fiancée and was only interested in sleeping with me. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

#4962487
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50779) - you deserved it (4447)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by SaMike (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

#4961787
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42916) - you deserved it (3420)

On 08/31/2009 at 8:40pm - love - by outofluckdude (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

#4960471
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36921) - you deserved it (2668)

On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90420) - you deserved it (5541)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

#4957088
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41942) - you deserved it (9835)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

#4956234
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (10868)

On 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: