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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

#3395753
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51174) - you deserved it (4709)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I logged onto facebook, and saw that one of my friends had just listed herself as in a relationship. I was happy for her, so I clicked the "like" button. Then I went to her page to see who her new boyfriend was. It was my boyfriend. FML

#3395339
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61855) - you deserved it (4220)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:25pm - love - by dumped (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML

#3394819
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13106) - you deserved it (41475)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Beccarr - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I was home alone in the shower when in the opening of the curtain, I could see a man in a ski mask. I passed out, hit my head on the tub. I then found out it was my dad pulling a prank on me. I almost died cause my dad wanted to see me scream like a girl. FML

Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML

#3390593
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46180) - you deserved it (5987)

On 07/01/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Jake (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I wrote a long wall post on my teachers wall on facebook including how much of a douche I thought she was, I wasn't planning on posting it but did on accident, so I quickly deleted it. I felt pretty clever. Did you know facebook sends you emails including what was written on the post? FML

#3389905
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8025) - you deserved it (81713)

On 07/01/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by Sallyfromtheseashore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

#3389802
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9746) - you deserved it (69600)

On 07/01/2009 at 6:31am - intimacy - by paprikarulz (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML

#3389497
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48762) - you deserved it (6624)

On 07/01/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Robert (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that shaving my unibrow while drunk/high was a terrible idea. I also learned that one brow looks better than no brow. FML

#3386965
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7495) - you deserved it (52085)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

#3386815
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98401) - you deserved it (5578)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML

#3384760
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50857) - you deserved it (4210)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:18am - intimacy - by conductingfromthegrave (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on aim, I noticed one of his friends away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said "I can't believe what I stick my d... In sometimes." FML

#3383577
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43227) - you deserved it (11683)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Bulldogs09 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

#3383261
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46530) - you deserved it (7262)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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