Today, I tried to open the research paper I've been working on for the past month, only to discover that the entire file is permanently lost and can't be recovered. This is not the first time this has happened to this paper. FML

by ScienceFail / 07/25/2010 at 3:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

by girlgirlinsanity / 07/25/2010 at 7:09am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health

SexiAmber1990's comment : you're a ass

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Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

by longdrive / 07/25/2010 at 2:17am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

by longday / 07/25/2010 at 2:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend decided he would do his job while I did my "job" on top of him. He whips out his Blackberry and completely ignores me to send e-mails to co-workers reminding them about the 10 a.m. meeting scheduled for the next morning. FML

by blackberrybummer / 07/25/2010 at 1:57am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Carribean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

by greaaaatt. / 07/25/2010 at 1:45am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

by one_BAMF / 07/25/2010 at 1:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I spent 100 dollars on lingerie. I put it on, walk out to the living room, and tell my boyfriend to follow me into the bedroom. He says no, and then pretends to fall asleep. FML

by Anonymous90 / 07/24/2010 at 7:59pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML

by ghostyyy / 07/24/2010 at 7:21pm / Love

Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML

by onedollar / 07/24/2010 at 5:56pm / Venezuela (Distrito Federal) / Money

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

by Whateversz / 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Animals

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

by juli / 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Love