Today, I found out the antibiotics I'm taking can cause you to vomit unexpectedly. In the car. While driving. To work. FML

by addie19 / 01/19/2010 at 2:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, after spending four days having my resume, cover letter, and references proofread and perfected by professionals, I finally submitted it all to the summer internship of my dreams. I received a rejection letter ten minutes later. FML

by PiMan / 01/19/2010 at 2:20pm / United States (Alaska) / Work

Today, I flew a toy helicopter into my face. FML

by magicalDEATH / 01/19/2010 at 12:42pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

by Sl3vin / 01/19/2010 at 9:17am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I was given a ticket for running a red light. The reason? I was moving out of the way of an ambulance. The police officer watched it go by. FML

by Samaritan / 01/19/2010 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Transportation

Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML

by Stilljobless / 01/19/2010 at 6:51am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Work

Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

by momof2boys / 01/19/2010 at 4:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2010 at 4:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I started my job as a consultant at a shop that sells wedding dresses. My first client? The girl my ex-fiancé cheated on me with and left me for. FML

by StillHurt / 01/19/2010 at 1:44am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

by Fatlady43 / 01/19/2010 at 12:08am / United States (California) / Health

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

by mcdman / 01/19/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

by pictureperfect678 / 01/18/2010 at 9:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Holidays