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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was driving my car and I thought the construction guy was flirting and waving at me. So I drove by him, waving back and hit an oil spill and my car ended up spinning out of control. He was trying to direct me away from the oil spill. FML

#4757716
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6307) - you deserved it (38958)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:08pm - misc - by Susan (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother and father are insisting that I go on a date with a German exchange student they met on the weekend. Why? Because we have similar glasses. FML

#4756987
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33181) - you deserved it (3512)

On 08/23/2009 at 9:29am - love - by Foureyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML

#4756705
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42150) - you deserved it (3614)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, it was the last day of camp. I told my friends we should exchange e-mail addresses so we could stay in touch. Apparently, they all had already exchanged their contact info. Nobody asked me for one piece of my contact info even once during the entire six weeks. FML

#4754419
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30772) - you deserved it (4197)

On 08/23/2009 at 3:09am - misc - by Lonely (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

#4754202
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9014) - you deserved it (32118)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:54am - love - by Crossy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML

#4753654
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7286) - you deserved it (28291)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Scared - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML

#4752266
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44545) - you deserved it (4181)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Idontdance (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

#4751851
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (3422)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML

#4751132
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (14785)

On 08/23/2009 at 12:48am - work - by introuble (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

#4750882
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30313) - you deserved it (1905)

On 08/23/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes at work. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walk under the newly fixed pipes, I get soaked with water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement so they made me work covered in piss. FML

#4748586
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (1953)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:29pm - work - by lifestinks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I spilled my heart out to a guy by showing him one of my poetry journals. He read through it and said, "Wow, I feel sorry for the guy you wrote about." The poems were all about how I loved him. FML

#4747171
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28920) - you deserved it (7244)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:41pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML

#4746647
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (7266)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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