Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

by Joel_28 / 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my younger sister said that she was going to pray for her brother's HIV. I have Primary Immune Disease (PID) not HIV. School will be very interesting tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

alexandraa's comment : That's just a TAD extreme ya think?

See all the comments

Today, thanks to my brilliant hairstylist, I ended up with a brand new haircut, which I like to call the "Bowler hat-and-Spaghetti" cut. FML

by AtikaSucks / 02/28/2010 at 2:00pm / Tunisia / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to clean out my room because I was having a sleepover. Only, I've not been in here for months since I've spent every night in my mom's room because I'm too scared to sleep alone. FML

by apple / 02/28/2010 at 1:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had pancakes for breakfast, and without realizing it, I got syrup in my hair. After breakfast, I went to straighten my hair, only to burn the syrup and have it get stuck in my hair. There was no time to shower and it smelled. FML

by maddy / 02/28/2010 at 12:10pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML

by Man vs. Spider / 02/28/2010 at 12:05pm / United States / Animals

Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

by Renesmeekuhnell / 02/28/2010 at 11:00am / Denmark (Arhus) / Work

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he was going to make it to our first child's Christening as there was a football match on at the same time. Without hesitating, he replyed that he would just watch the recording. He meant the recording of the Christenting. He was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 9:26am / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Kids

Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML

by idonthavelice / 02/28/2010 at 8:44am / China (Guangdong) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate and I got charged $100 for having a cat in our apartment. I was only babysitting the cat so my neighbors wouldn't get caught and fined. We got caught because my roommate reported the people downstairs for having a dog, so they reported that someone else in the building had a cat. FML

by komp6390 / 02/28/2010 at 8:16am / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML

by FBfail / 02/28/2010 at 8:10am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Love

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 6:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals