Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

by spleechick / 01/27/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

by Glutton / 01/27/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

by fuuuuck / 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

by Boned...hard / 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML

by anonymous / 01/27/2010 at 3:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

Today, while my teacher was in the middle of a lecture, I accidentally made it so my laptop would display everything upside down. It took me the rest of class to get it right side up again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2010 at 2:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

by samantha / 01/27/2010 at 9:05am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy

Today, my boss screamed at me for almost an hour because, apparently, I hurt my coworker's feelings when I stopped speaking to her after finding out that she was sleeping with my boyfriend. FML

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

by Patrick / 01/27/2010 at 6:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

by Sundendako / 01/27/2010 at 5:20am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous