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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37687) - you deserved it (9670)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11039) - you deserved it (69783)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (5400)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML

#52207
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (8034)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by KMKWEEN (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I drank a ton of beers for my 25th birthday. My friends love to watch me open beer bottles with my teeth. I chipped both of my front uppers doing this. I'm no longer covered by my parents dental insurance because I'm 25 now. FML

#52066
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8134) - you deserved it (61226)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:01am - misc - by bready (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

#51436
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30404) - you deserved it (8020)

On 02/16/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by dammit_ (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cig-bud out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML

#51182
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8248) - you deserved it (129441)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Dani_Rich - United States (California)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41924) - you deserved it (2670)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44713) - you deserved it (6064)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

#50610
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12638) - you deserved it (25147)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by thedullard (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37339) - you deserved it (8112)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

#48184
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54076) - you deserved it (2643)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by blah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

#47954
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (42255)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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