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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

#67236
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38994) - you deserved it (17447)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:15am - love - by Sandra (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54016) - you deserved it (4537)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you ok? You seemed depressed earlier." FML

#66830
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28619) - you deserved it (4629)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:55am - love - by dxl (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I let my friend who is in 'beauty school' do my hair. I now look like i have a mullet. What was supposed to be auburn highlights is now hot pink. I have a job interview in the morning. FML

#66787
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14469) - you deserved it (30931)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35am - misc - by asdf1851 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (12058)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML

#65383
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40523) - you deserved it (2095)

On 02/18/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by fuckthat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

#64211
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55471) - you deserved it (17799)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

#63875
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30325) - you deserved it (2488)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

#63782
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40718) - you deserved it (6170)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by ouchmynose (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

#62926
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41544) - you deserved it (2714)

On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (7686)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said, "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for Valentine's Day." Then he hands one to me. This was the first time I have been to that church. FML

#62419
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you deserved it (3385)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:44pm - love - by KC (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14491) - you deserved it (38534)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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