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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML

#101947
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36299) - you deserved it (9741)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:24am - love - by 987564 (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

#101898
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41429) - you deserved it (3691)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:16am - love - by Marleck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my Grandma was showing me an ancient family letter. It was apparently written by someone historically famous. She was going on about how important it was, in such good condition too, worth a lot. I dropped my glass of juice. It spilt all over it. FML

#101667
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14903) - you deserved it (33412)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by damn-it (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was happy because my exact shirt and sweater were in seventeen magazine. They were in the "what not to wear" category. FML

#101622
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31679) - you deserved it (11782)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by secenteenmagazine. - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

#101471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37254) - you deserved it (2559)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:14am - work - by Noname (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got fired from a great baby sitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML

#100715
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29531) - you deserved it (12281)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:49pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

#100454
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9363) - you deserved it (27033)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

#99945
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70756) - you deserved it (6535)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

#99894
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46289) - you deserved it (4881)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60179) - you deserved it (6163)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

#99356
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26745) - you deserved it (75912)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother told me she was going out of town this weekend. I re-assured her that I would not throw a party. She replied "Oh, like you have enough friends to do that." FML

#98981
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38482) - you deserved it (3399)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by stinker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

#98972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10922) - you deserved it (65849)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:19pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)



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