Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2010 at 3:10am / United States (Utah) / Love
by J.O.S / 08/17/2010 at 12:59am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
Freeze's comment : YDI for trying to bring a wea- wait, what? $32 for something so useless?
by ew. / 08/17/2010 at 12:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, my friends thought it would be a good idea to make fun of a homeless man. I didn't fancy making fun of the less fortunate, so I stayed a bit back. Still, the homeless man didn't think it would matter to throw a rock at me after my buddies ran away. FML
by Yay..... / 08/17/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother found out that I'm sexually active. She wants me to tell my father. I'm seventeen, and my father still has trouble grasping the fact that I carry a purse, because it means I'm "growing up." This should be fun. FML
by sarskii / 08/16/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Rambo881xx's comment : Show him a tampon, he will have a heart attack.
by IceCreamCraver / 08/16/2010 at 4:35pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I went to a job interview. The person giving me my interview was late, and while waiting for them I fell asleep. When they arrived, they didn't even bother interviewing me because they thought I was irresponsible since I fell asleep because they were late. FML
by nocanhaz / 08/16/2010 at 1:17am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 1:14am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
xX_LilSammie_Xx's comment : that's hot.
Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML
by 86145 / 08/16/2010 at 1:03am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy