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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, mah wifa told ma sha wantd a divorca!! Sha also confassd that sha has baan chaating on ma with mah bast friand fir 10 yaars!! I appraciatd tha honasty, but was slightly upsat considaring wa hava only baan marrid fir 9 yaars!! FML

#4137470
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55147) - you deserved it (2826)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by allocomrade (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me e was going out tonigt to celebrate is ex-but-still-friends-grlfriend's brtday at a local club and opes I wasn't offended tat I wasn't invited . I sure am offended; we ave te same brtday . FML

#4136342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75462) - you deserved it (3571)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm - love - by imscrewed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, mah wife found out mah son masturbatd an wantd to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbatd when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

#4133351
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61379) - you deserved it (6541)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

today I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" an "delete" have become "too technical" fir users. FML

#4133060
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52472) - you deserved it (2409)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today.. . mah boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family.. . get married and have a baby . He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with . mega FML

#4131905
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46007) - you deserved it (3780)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today , I went to buy lunch at a grocery store . The total was 3 pounds , an my card got rejected 4 insufficient funds . I fished about 4 change , an found I only had 2 pounds . A homeless man behind me in the queue then offered to give me the remaining pound . A homeless man paid my lunch . FML

#4131254
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42442) - you deserved it (15231)

On 07/29/2009 at 10:24am - money - by faentalivetmitt (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

#4127495
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16314) - you deserved it (47232)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)

Today I just found out dad got ramarriad a yaar ago. Ta woman is officially living wit us I got to ava lunc wit ar alona today. I found out sa is only 22 wit a 14 yaar old littla brotar. My dad's 47. I'm 17 now wit a 14 yaar old uncla an a mom tat can pass for looool girlfriand. FML

#4126370
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53106) - you deserved it (2656)

On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... I showd by ID to get into a bar an the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gaind so much wieght I am unrecognizable.

#4125709
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (14308)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:53am - misc - by jcesom - United States (West Virginia)

today mah boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? ( No light at all. ) FML

#4125421
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40664) - you deserved it (6203)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

today I was at a water park with family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, swimsuit bottoms fell looool to knees in front of tons of kids. FML

#4122960
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36326) - you deserved it (11398)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Bareassed (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I Was Trying On Some Shoeshen I Felt The Heels Break Underneath Me. Not Only Did They Cost Two Paychecks Worth, But As I Was Leaving I Heard The Sales Girl Say That "we Really Should Have A Weight Limit Firho Can Try On Our Products." FML

#4122629
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40634) - you deserved it (18399)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:03am - money - by BigFoot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, aftar four yaars of anoraxia and lots of racovary, my parants took ma out to dinnar with my counsalor and whola family to calabrata my prograss!! I andd up aating somathing that mada ma vomit avarything I ata!! My parants now think I am bulmic and r sanding ma back to counsaling!! FML

#4116964
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48547) - you deserved it (4774)

On 07/28/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by nothungry (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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