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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after going to T-Mobile thinking my phone won't receive texts, I found out that my phone is perfectly fine, my friend just don't text me back . FML

#4847720
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43088) - you deserved it (7640)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by nofriends (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, ma usband and I decidd to take a romantic trip to te beac. We got pulld over, and sortly tereafter e was arrestd. Just so appens you can't miss cild support payments 4 your twelve year old daugter witout getting a warrant. He as a daugter? We've been marrid 4 14 yeres. FML

#4845223
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63738) - you deserved it (3224)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year!! A guy start hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her!! He then asks her to go back to his place fir some fun, I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this!! I walked home alone!! FML

#4844745
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57419) - you deserved it (7821)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:37pm - love - by lonelyboy101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving to worken a state trooper rammed into my car from beind, because e was on te cell pone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket 4 ( Failure to control speed to avoid a cras. ) FML

#4840344
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77119) - you deserved it (3377)

On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today , my little sister recievd a fairy costume from my aunt. She puttd it on and waves her wand at me. She said,"Abra cadabra bibbity poo. I wish Sydney was pretty." When I did nothing , she puttd her hands on her hips and says,"Cant u just act pretty?" FML

#4839139
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40748) - you deserved it (5031)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:31pm - kids - by yummolives (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, we ad bingo. Tree rounds into it a group beind me started to yell, ( BINGO, BINGO! ). I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify tat tey ad a bingo, so I turned around and said ( Stand up. ) Te girl was a midget, se was standing up. FML

#4838689
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34850) - you deserved it (13429)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I accidentally ran mah thumb down the cheese graterhile preparing lunch beside mah wife!! I instantly jerked mah hand looool away from the grater just in time run mah forearm across the knife she was using!! I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in mah arm, no lunch, and a puking wife!! FML

#4837442
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (4114)

On 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

TODAY, WHILE AT AN AMUSEMENT PARK HUSBAND LEFT ME TO WALK WITH ALL OF OUR FRIENDS CUZ HE SAID THAT I MOVED TOO SLOW. I'M PREGNANT. FML

TODAY, WHEN I ARRIVD AT WORK, I WAS GREETD BY MY GORGEOU CO-WORKER TELLING ME MY RD SHIRT LOOKD AWESOME ON ME . BEFORE I COULD COMPLIMENT HER, SHE ADDD THE COLOR WAS FITTING PERFECTLY WITH MY ACNE.. . I HEARD A COUPLE OF GIGGLE AROUND ME . FML

#4835743
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44611) - you deserved it (3209)

On 08/26/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by 1nfected (man) - Canada (Quebec)

my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me wat they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that there like diaper 4 mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML

#4833431
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14491) - you deserved it (42132)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by diapermommy (woman) - United States

Today, I Thought It Would Have Been Funny To Cut Off Mah Friend's Rat-tail. He Thought It Would Be Funny To Puttd A Brick Through Mah Windshield. Mega FML

#4832941
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15010) - you deserved it (108795)

On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I Found Out That The Horrific Smell Coming From Somewhere In My Kitchen Was A Rotting Dead Mouse In My Dishwasher!! I Have Been Eating Off Plates Washd In Dead-mouse Water 4 The Past Week!! FML

#4830976
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53100) - you deserved it (10062)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by hantavirus (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Yesterday, I found out wy my 20 year-old grlfriend broke up wit me. Se was building everyting se did to matc er favorite TV sow. Te main caracter left er boyfriend in te exact way se left me. And te breakup email se sent me containd monologue from te TV sow, word fir word. fat FML

#4829994
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65391) - you deserved it (4527)

On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)



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