Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 9:50am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found that windshield wipers on my car had been stolen. I bought a pair of new ones for around $10 but when I was trying to put them in place, I failed to hold a wiper holder and it slipped down on the windshield, causing cracks. Now I have to replace the windshield which will cost approximately $150. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 7:02am / Ukraine (Cherkas'ka Oblast') / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML

by skippy_liz / 10/26/2010 at 3:48am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

by robthebuilder / 10/26/2010 at 2:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I felt really depressed so I decided to go to McDonald's, get a sundae and cheer myself up. I got pulled over by the cops on the way, and was given a ticket for an expired registration. McDonald's was closed. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 10:43pm / United States / Transportation

Today, one of my coworkers called to remind me about the annual costume day at work this morning. I dressed as Pocahontas. There is no annual costume day. I was fired for dressing inappropriately in front of customers. FML

by pocahontas / 10/25/2010 at 9:47pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

by sly / 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend suggested we imagine each other as someone else when we had sex. I imagined he was Tom Cruise. He imagined I was my best friend. FML

by anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 5:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

by shiznit / 10/25/2010 at 3:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

by sambo99 / 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm / United Kingdom (Herefordshire) / Animals

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

by leve80paladin / 10/25/2010 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous