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Man or woman?

Today , my mom told ma sha was gatting trad of that small of marijuana in tha housa. So I confass and tall har I will navar bring it homa again. Sha was talking about my naighbors. FML

#4874504
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13410) - you deserved it (62471)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Dumbweed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, an yelld quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensud. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47248) - you deserved it (6346)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today looool for the first time I hugged the man I have been in love with for four yeres . It was a congratulatory hug at his wedding to mah best friend . FML

#4874112
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55623) - you deserved it (13034)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:23am - love - by itrustedsnapeallalong (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my five year old daugter told me tat wile I'm at work, daddy as is wrestling buddy Melinda over . Se also said tat tey wrestle on te bed so tat tey won't get urt . FML

#4867119
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78106) - you deserved it (3404)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today,hile driving, I realizd I had left mah phone on top of mah carhen I was getting in. Panicking, I drove back to look 4 it. I found it in the middle of the looool street, still intact. Yay! When I went back to mah car, I noticd I had lockd mah door. And the keys were in the ignition. FML

#4866921
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15916) - you deserved it (35086)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

2DAY I WROTE A NOTE FOR MAH CRUSH OF 2 YEARS, EXPRESSING ALL MAH FEELINGS FOR HIM SIGNED IT AS ( FOREVER YUR LOVER ) THEN I SLIPPED IT INTO HIS LOCKER. LATER THAT DAY, HE WALKED BACK UP TO ME, TOSSED THE NOTE AT ME AND SAID ( YOU KNOW I RECOGNIZE YUR HANDWRITING, RIGHT? ) FML

#4865641
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40676) - you deserved it (27762)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - love - by fmynote (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at work, I was putting away clots in te Men's department,en a guy came and startd sopping in te aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fd up, I said ( Wat are u staring at? ) Turns out e was wereing is sunglasses on te back of is ead. FML

#4865635
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7794) - you deserved it (59750)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving past a farm tat always as 4 cickens walking around outside!! It always ceers me up to see tem, but I couldn't find tem!! I wasn't watcing te road so I didn't seeen I ran over all 4 cickens!! FML

#4863125
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16922) - you deserved it (50557)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, My Moter Told Me I Sould Tink About Quitting Scool!! Se Explained Tat Te Reason Was Because Se Didn't Want Me To Be More Successful Tan My Older Sisters!! FML

#4862674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55420) - you deserved it (2244)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Kitty_Gem (woman) - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly nieghbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41439) - you deserved it (19483)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, 4 mah brthday, mah mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay 4 mah braces . I've been very self-conscious about mah teeth 4 years . Everyone applauded an told me how happy they were 4 me . Later, mah mom asked me 4 the check back . Apparently it was just meant to make her look good . FML

#4859599
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64955) - you deserved it (2371)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm - money - by crookedteeth (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I trid to initiata sax with boyfriand. As I puttd on most saductiva movas, ha avar so nicaly says, "Baba, wa just had sax last night. Why don't wa wait ahila so you'va had soma tima to tightan back up."

#4859108
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57404) - you deserved it (8644)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML

#4858444
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (4804)

On 08/27/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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