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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML

#6078140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (6175)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Mike (man) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I was chatting with a friend on msn. She told me a few days ago a Halloween party we had been planning was canceled because her parents said no at the last moment. Wanting to cheer her up, I went to her house to surprise her. I guess the party wasn't canceled after all. FML

#6078051
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (2402)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by a (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML

#6077222
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8654) - you deserved it (26876)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by RyanTheMan15 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was using the only stall left in a public restroom; a handicap stall. As I sat down to do my business, I felt something warm dripping down my leg. I looked down to see me urinating on myself through the raised seat. FML

#6075541
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8394) - you deserved it (27378)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:36pm - misc - by JynxQueen - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago "told her that I was cheating on her," telepathically. FML

#6075479
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35529) - you deserved it (2646)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by iGotSkill (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML

#6073802
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12270) - you deserved it (30182)

On 10/30/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Missedtheboat (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

#6072093
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39059) - you deserved it (4623)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my university bookstore and tried to use my debit card to pay, but got the "Insufficient Funds" notification. I was buying a single postage stamp, which costs 57 cents. FML

#6071403
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28388) - you deserved it (9226)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:32pm - money - by poorcollegestudent (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML

#6070693
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9926) - you deserved it (35859)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by pimdala_major (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

#6069368
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10426) - you deserved it (20956)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by man (man) - United Kingdom (London)

jw90's comment : Quit your fucking complaining you got head!

See all the comments →

Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML

#6069293
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (6462)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

#6069034
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25234) - you deserved it (9779)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24080) - you deserved it (7200)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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