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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was driving in te left lane an was suddenly it by a woman wo was in te rigt lane. I ran off te road, taking out a fence an totaling ma car. Wen te cops asked te woman wat appened se responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49105) - you deserved it (2213)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I left on mah honeymoon with mah wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announce incoming storm in the flight path, and the man next to me start saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime" and mah wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML

#5167326
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37607) - you deserved it (2686)

On 09/10/2009 at 11:58am - misc - by siggit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was laaving job at a huga mall. I couldn't find car anywhara, so I panickad an flaggad a sacurity officar. I criad whila ha drova ma around for milas in tha andlass parking lot. Than, suddanly, I ramambarad. My friand had droppad ma off in tha morning. FML

#5166474
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8731) - you deserved it (51029)

On 09/10/2009 at 10:15am - work - by ritz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting in mah garden an having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies . I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them an trid to catch thier tails like I usd to when I was a kid . They were exotic wasps . Ouch . FML

#5166138
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12630) - you deserved it (44648)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:40am - animals - by Lala (woman) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today Mah Grlfriend Of 3 Years Told Me That I Was Part Of An Experiment For Her Sociology Doctorate!! I Also Learnd That The Notebooks She's Been Writing In For The Past Three Years Aren't For Her ( Doctorate In Literature ) As She Had Told Me They Were Notes On Mah Behavior For The Past 3 Years!! FML

#5166110
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49134) - you deserved it (3118)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

YESTERDAY I WAS ON A 12 HOUR TRANS-ATLANTIC FLIGHT OVERSEAS. I ASKD THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHERE THIS RANCID SMELL WAS COMING FROM. THE GUY SITTING NEXT TO ME STARTD LAUGHING, SAYING, "SORRY, SOMETHING I ATE IS NOT AGREEING WITH ME." THIS WAS HOUR 1 OF THE FLIGHT. FML

#5165641
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (1882)

On 09/10/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by whatsmccraken (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I woke up at ma crazy ex-girlfriend's ouse, nakd and disorientd. You know, te kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-figt-now-we-can-get-marrid crazy. Se says everyting's fine now and se's so glad we've "startd our family." fat FML

#5165059
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45995) - you deserved it (15166)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Anon17564's comment : I think being drugged and raped is a bit too much for just FML... Go to the fucking police.

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Today my 11-year-old son an I were going through some old photos!! He saw one of mehen I was 22 on a beach wearing a bikini!! He said ( Wow! Who's that? ) Quite proudly I said it was me!! He lookd at me an said ( What happend? ) FML

#5164588
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37172) - you deserved it (7150)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

2day My Daughter Usd The Kids Potty Chair On Her Own For The First Time. Bad: The Bucket Was Not In It So Poo Hit The Floor. Good: She Trid To Clean It... Bad: With Her Socks. Good: She Decidd To Clean The Socks. Bad: She Usd The Wall. Good: She Finally Calld Dad. FML

#5164209
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45551) - you deserved it (4300)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM enterd the room I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. real FML

#5163835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13829) - you deserved it (36252)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Taday sister surprised me by cleaning room and doing laundry. She found journal, condom and vibrator and decided to share her finding with family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half wardrobe. FML

#5163581
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36198) - you deserved it (4455)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by tawnaciousd - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have !! We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her !! I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun !! real FML

#5163523
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14750) - you deserved it (35447)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:25am - intimacy - by wallflower (woman) - United States (Illinois)

jonnymohio's comment : Now it's your turn. Have a threesome with HIS hot best male friend, and go to town!

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TODAY, AFTER FAILING MY LS TWICE IN THE PREVIOUS WEEKS, I FINALLY PASSED. AS I GOT HOME, I WENT FIR A DRIVE WITH MY DAD. I SMASHED MY MUMS CAR INTO AN OLD LADYS FENCE AND ENDED UP IN HER BACKYARD. FML

#5163445
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6791) - you deserved it (33002)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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