Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML

#8012707
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (1996)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by dmachin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

#8012702
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6893) - you deserved it (46027)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while on my way to the break room, it seemed as if everyone was staring at me and giving me odd looks. I asked my friend, "Did I get prettier overnight or something?" She answered, "No, your shirt is just see-through." FML

#8011432
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10601) - you deserved it (29433)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

#8011399
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28563) - you deserved it (2693)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad and I had an argument. Then we went outside to shovel the snow out of the driveway. I heard him yelling and figured he was just yelling at me some more, so I turned my iPod up so I couldn't hear him anymore. Turns out he had fallen, cracked a rib, and needed help up. FML

#8008205
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11256) - you deserved it (42229)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:19am - misc - by skinsfan7592 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML

#8007252
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48764) - you deserved it (3907)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:18am - love - by DD - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

#8007090
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35489) - you deserved it (3248)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:07am - love - by klala - Reserved

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30565) - you deserved it (11890)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States

Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML

#8005282
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11711) - you deserved it (32092)

On 02/08/2010 at 5:52am - health - by preggers (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML

#8003264
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9742) - you deserved it (83466)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:00am - love - by loveeyou. - Sent from mobile version

mj2123's comment : You're an idiot.

See all the comments →

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32036) - you deserved it (8703)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

#7999702
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24798) - you deserved it (7060)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:04am - work - by fired101 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML

#7998625
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27775) - you deserved it (3670)

On 02/08/2010 at 12:41am - love - by mmvv - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: