Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML

#8271296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (4067)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by Vgameboi (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, that's she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

#8270152
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (5266)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:54pm - love - by britney - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

#8268045
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (3939)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

#8266626
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (2387)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23304) - you deserved it (5326)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Laurendorcus's comment : You would think that would make your boyfriend proud. Like he did his job so well that you couldnt even think straight. Next time only yell out full sentences and let him know you arent that overwhelmed by him. "oh dear, I do wish you would thrust deeper, but alas, you dont have the equipment neccesary to please me!"

See all the comments →

Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML

#8263178
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35682) - you deserved it (7326)

On 02/14/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Shirley (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

muahzzbaybee's comment : break up with him

See all the comments →

Today, I was in the shower getting ready for a date, when my older sister thought it would be a laugh to turn out the light. Getting out of the shower to turn it back on, I slipped and hit on my head on the counter. Thanks, sis. FML

#8250617
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25816) - you deserved it (2974)

On 02/14/2010 at 2:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

#8250331
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10366) - you deserved it (36312)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (3403)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

#8248979
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27206) - you deserved it (6563)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by freakingow (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Nyudo's comment : What kind of idiot puts poptarts in the freezer? They go in the cupboard. YDI!

See all the comments →

Today, I went to the store to buy a new lego set, only to find there weren't any left in stock. I started crying before I could make it out of the store. Oh, and I'm eighteen. FML

#8248390
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10737) - you deserved it (44646)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm - misc - by Tibblesthepengwin (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I received a notice that my boyfriend had given me a rose via Happy Aquarium on Facebook. It came with a date cancellation so that he and his friends could play BioShock. FML

#8246413
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (4489)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Fv-day (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21942) - you deserved it (3617)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: