Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

#6574517
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (11161)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (4540)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML

#6572169
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45462) - you deserved it (3128)

On 12/02/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

#6570901
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40446) - you deserved it (4739)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my sister was dumped by her boyfriend. As my mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, you're the pretty one. Think of those worse off than you. Think of your sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML

#6570014
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50094) - you deserved it (2837)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by UglySister - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

#6569414
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11866) - you deserved it (34431)

On 12/02/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML

#6569085
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32480) - you deserved it (8590)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

#6568634
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (6929)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

#6568411
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26398) - you deserved it (8090)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by randm1 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML

#6567940
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (3145)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Furry (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, after having paid to download an iPhone FML app, I found out that the real 'Fmylife Official' app was a lot more complete. And free. FML

#6567661
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9981) - you deserved it (40078)

On 12/02/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by Fmyapp (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

#6566418
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37173) - you deserved it (5427)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work I was told I'd be working over Christmas because I don't drink. Apparently if you're tee-total, you're not entitled to spend time with your family and are incapable of having fun. FML

#6565832
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (3707)

On 12/02/2009 at 8:27am - work - by ostler (man) - United Kingdom



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