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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

#6351303
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (3502)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by disheshateme (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at the old folk's home where I work as a housekeeper, a resident was holding herself on the way to the bathroom. I hoped she wouldn't leave a mess. She made it just fine. I was then informed that she had left a crap trail from the couch, more than 20ft away. FML

#6351075
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (2415)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

#6350911
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (2663)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by not_trained_for_this (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

#6350445
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33685) - you deserved it (2240)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Bribri (man) - United States (California)

Today, I drove from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

#6349337
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34232) - you deserved it (2108)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fishes. My coworker named the three fishes what I thought were completely random names. I said "those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kid's names. FML

#6348891
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8316) - you deserved it (29121)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43654) - you deserved it (1929)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching and a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, when the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

#6346193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21264) - you deserved it (6668)

On 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

#6344201
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11933) - you deserved it (32889)

On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said "how would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

#6343049
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23862) - you deserved it (3474)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by shellbom (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

#6342869
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32697) - you deserved it (11570)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by fmfl (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

#6342558
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23437) - you deserved it (9081)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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