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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

#8624928
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24636) - you deserved it (20007)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by pickit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a friend of mine commented that I "have a lot of confidence for a fat girl". Ummm... thanks? FML

#8623165
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28889) - you deserved it (4295)

On 02/24/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by Jill - Sent from mobile version

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

#8622338
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (5631)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:57pm - work - by Herman - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate cats, and probably sensing this, the thing clawed me right in the crotch. I of course am not going to say a thing because I happen to be in love with my roommate, but she has no clue how much I hate this thing. FML

#8621697
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14026) - you deserved it (26381)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:29pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

#8621436
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26290) - you deserved it (4314)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:15pm - work - by richgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

#8617932
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41264) - you deserved it (2882)

On 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm - misc - by koolkidx3 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spilled a glass of iced tea all over my desk. It trickled down the wall and fried an extension cord. FML

#8615940
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19143) - you deserved it (9006)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:43pm - misc - by dumbbass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to apply for a credit card to help build up my credit rating. It seemed smart since I'm a 24 year old college graduate. I was rejected for not having a credit history. Being rejected turns out to hurt your credit history. The irony of my predicament is too great for words. FML

#8615441
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (2724)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:13pm - money - by creditwhore (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

#8614078
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (6072)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38781) - you deserved it (5524)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26906) - you deserved it (4547)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, after months of searching I finally got a job interview. Too bad I didn't have enough money to buy a bus ticket to get there. FML

#8612009
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28505) - you deserved it (4067)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

#8611992
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28742) - you deserved it (2419)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Greymoya (woman) - United States (Texas)



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