Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

by roo / 01/27/2011 at 11:48am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary. It's also the 5th anniversary of the last time he made me orgasm. FML

by ohdear / 01/27/2011 at 8:07am / United Kingdom (Bury) / Intimacy

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, and I had an epileptic fit. He had never seen me have one, and it freaked him out. He rang me later to dump me, as he didn't want to go out with someone who acted like a 'spaz' in public. FML

by gmarina789 / 01/27/2011 at 6:28am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

by GHTD / 01/27/2011 at 6:20am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Work

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

by dadum / 01/27/2011 at 2:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my power went out due to a huge snow storm. I was in desperate need of candles and flashlights. I had to walk to the store since the roads were closed. I walked 4 miles in the blizzard. When I got home, the power came back on. FML

by iamlauraheremecry / 01/27/2011 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML

by Username / 01/26/2011 at 10:54pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying "I love you." FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2011 at 9:53pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML

by PLU / 01/26/2011 at 7:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML

by Larz / 01/26/2011 at 4:49pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML

by Unreality / 01/26/2011 at 4:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

by knickersdontfit / 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health