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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

#6594787
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35983) - you deserved it (2648)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:27am - work - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was informed after submitting my request to have Christmas off about 2 weeks prior to Thanksgiving that I was denied. About 15 minutes later, I overheard the person that denied my request talking with another agent, who put their request in today, that they were granted the holiday off. FML

#6594646
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (1904)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (4643)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, at my school, we had the opening night of our production in which I act. None of my family or friends came. Basically, after 3 long months of hard work, the only person to "congratulate" to me after the show was the head of the theater department, who just wanted to tell me I was doing it wrong. FML

#6594222
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24371) - you deserved it (3479)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by drama_queen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

#6594028
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10867) - you deserved it (30987)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

#6593768
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53688) - you deserved it (2801)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

#6591482
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31021) - you deserved it (2351)

On 12/03/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by holla1787 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

#6590388
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51051) - you deserved it (2228)

On 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML

#6589221
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37059) - you deserved it (4038)

On 12/03/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Sub (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML

#6587756
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31152) - you deserved it (3696)

On 12/03/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States

Today, I hired a professional makeup artist to apply my makeup for a wedding. After paying her $500 for the excellent job she does, and getting dressed, I grabbed the invitation to check out the address, and it said the wedding was on December 2. Today is December 3. FML

#6586443
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12417) - you deserved it (56832)

On 12/03/2009 at 5:29pm - money - by DidntCheckTheCalendar (woman) - Kuwait

my_fml_account's comment : You spend 500 bucks to look good on the wedding of a (I'm assuming) friend? YDI for trying to out-shine the bride.

See all the comments →

Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML

#6585612
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9785) - you deserved it (30787)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:08pm - animals - by Sassers (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML

#6584948
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35498) - you deserved it (2194)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by SatelliteUser (man) - United States (District of Columbia)



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