Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (19145)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking in rain. I had my hands in my pants pockets, so that the front of the jacket was pointing down. Halfway to Taco Bell, my crotch felt exceptionally wet. I looked down to see a wet spot. The rain on my jacket was channeled to my crotch. FML

#6462833
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (5505)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by jaeilssanguh - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out to lunch with a girl I like and her best friend. We had a good time, even talked for a few hours at the restaurant, but after we left, she stopped talking to me. Her friend told her that I kept staring at her chest; I was trying to see what her pendant was. FML

#6462459
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11190) - you deserved it (35259)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by LonelyLoner (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML

#6461991
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30854) - you deserved it (2858)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML

#6461319
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (7308)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by HeSaysImNoBeard (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

#6461124
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10516) - you deserved it (39061)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

#6461044
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7241) - you deserved it (25972)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Cup_of___ - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML

#6460097
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (2101)

On 11/26/2009 at 9:19am - intimacy - by whattheshit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

#6459565
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15418) - you deserved it (37187)

On 11/26/2009 at 6:50am - misc - by harrypottermuch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

badumdum's comment : I see no problem with this

See all the comments →

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

#6459212
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (7596)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:18am - love - by amy1023 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML

#6458973
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9522) - you deserved it (24043)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by MouseChaser (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML

#6457237
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (2823)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by moviewalker (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

#6456555
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23616) - you deserved it (11885)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by ehwat (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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