Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

#8965755
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (2630)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Kevin - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (3513)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

#8965394
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32097) - you deserved it (4810)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:00am - love - by Maddy (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was using a power drill to take down the set for the musical we just finished. My long hair got caught in the drill, got ripped out and now I have a hurting, bleeding bald spot the size of 2 quarters. FML

#8963973
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (13674)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by bdavis - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got up on stage excited to recite a spoken word piece that I worked on and memorized for about 20 hours, neglecting other obligations like studying for an exam the next day. I blanked out in the middle of the performance in front of hundreds of people. FML

#8962343
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (6717)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by KJS (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML

#8958709
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22877) - you deserved it (3040)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by whoanoa (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (2764)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking to an ex who I still love. He told me how much he wanted to see me, how much he missed me, and we started talking about when we could spend the day at his house. I mentioned Saturday, and he said, "I can't, I have to take my fiancée to the doctor's to find out our baby's sex." FML

#8954955
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32156) - you deserved it (7708)

On 03/09/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by littlemissgullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38917) - you deserved it (3275)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML

#8948119
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47774) - you deserved it (2535)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:08pm - misc - by dargas - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML

#8946577
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32085) - you deserved it (2411)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:41pm - work - by pat (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

#8945692
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7695) - you deserved it (61874)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:42pm - love - by mizzleshizzle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML

#8944596
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29231) - you deserved it (9164)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:19pm - kids - by lockedoutbabysitter (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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