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Today, I went to my grandma's house to visit. She's an elderly woman, so I asked if there was anything I could do to help. She told me to take the dog out, so I did, but one thing she didn't tell me is that her dog loves to take explosive shits everywhere. FML

#21521987
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17897) - you deserved it (1494)

On 02/02/2016 at 12:37am - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

MDoremis's comment : Complain to his manager every day that he doesn't deliver your mail. Eventually they'll switch his route or he'll start delivering your mail again.

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Today, I was driving back home when I saw a yellow object flying off my roof of my car through the side mirrors. I thought nothing of it, then I noticed that I didn't have my phone with me. That's when I realized that the "flying yellow object" was my phone. FML

#21521941
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17256) - you deserved it (6276)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Warmonger_Smurf's comment : No matter what it is, phone, purse, wallet, or drink. Always put it on your hood. When you get in to drive you'll be looking right at it. This has saved many a coffee for me.

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Today, my boyfriend of three years and I went to visit my 85 year-old grandmother at the hospital. While I went to the restroom, she apparently told him about a guy I was seeing on the side. I have no idea who she's talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML

#21521929
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20803) - you deserved it (1373)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:23pm - love - by itsjustemcee - United States

feven's comment : If an 85 year old hospitalized woman can convince your boyfriend you're cheating in under 5 minutes then you guys need to sit down and talk.

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Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

#21521867
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15585) - you deserved it (10655)

On 02/01/2016 at 6:11pm - misc - by scottishoatmeal - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

#21521769
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19487) - you deserved it (4884)

On 02/01/2016 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by IsThisRealLife (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML

#21521764
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (1450)

On 02/01/2016 at 11:37am - love - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

#21521749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21443) - you deserved it (2032)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:54am - kids - by notsoproudfather - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML

#21521652
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19123) - you deserved it (1254)

On 02/01/2016 at 1:07am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I flipped out with happiness over the new Barbies. I want to buy one. I'm almost 26. FML

#21521595
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16095) - you deserved it (5924)

On 01/31/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by barbieissocute (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML

#21521515
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (1584)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:38pm - work - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, I've been calling my pet snake "Mr. Snake" for two years now. I decided to look up the name, and boy do I regret it. It turns out Mr. Snake is a porn site. I've named my snake after porn and have been introducing him to family with that name for two years. FML

#21521480
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17034) - you deserved it (4108)

On 01/31/2016 at 2:32pm - animals - by GeeLoftus - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my grandmother yet again asked where my grandfather is. She refuses to believe us when we tell her that he passed away 6 years ago. She always insists that he's out cheating on her and accuses us of lying to cover his arse. FML

#21521394
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22184) - you deserved it (1383)

On 01/31/2016 at 7:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Torfaen)



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