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Today, I was talking with my mother. As we went to say goodbye, she said "I love you". Out of habit of saying I love you to my girlfriend, I said, "Love you too babe". FML

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

#21389410
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27131) - you deserved it (3324)

On 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

pastel's comment : Well, did it?

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Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16501) - you deserved it (40899)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

WCARlover's comment : I love how you say "fml" like you had no choice in the matter

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Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
101 comments

thedevilspawn's comment : Did this, by any chance, happen in a porta potty where you lost your virginity?

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Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML

#21389237
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33145) - you deserved it (2533)

On 04/07/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by f my lifw - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to it raining. My area really needs it, so it's great. I didn't expect to wake up to a hole in the roof though. FML

Today, after over six weeks of not getting a single shift at my part time job, I finally went in to meet my new manager. He didn't even know I existed. Apparently my old manager lied and said I quit so they hired someone else. FML

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29827) - you deserved it (1994)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

#21388908
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (2072)

On 04/06/2015 at 9:51pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at my job, a couple became angry with me because I charged them for an extra ranch they'd ordered, as I'm supposed to. When I explained how it says in the menu how any additional sauces are an extra charge, she said nastily, "That's okay, we'll just take it out of your tip". FML

#21388872
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30213) - you deserved it (2204)

On 04/06/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by hexphoenix (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma is refusing to talk to me because I didn't answer her phone calls while we were at a parade. I was in it. FML

#21388867
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26402) - you deserved it (1719)

On 04/06/2015 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

#21388731
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24966) - you deserved it (4637)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:49pm - health - by TheRunaway21 (woman) - United States

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

#21388711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (1853)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by therewasnocurtain - United States (Idaho)



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Friday 17 April 2015

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