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Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

kinky44's comment : Got milk?

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Today, I did the smart thing and bought an umbrella before walking to work. My efforts proved useless when a truck ran through a huge puddle and drenched me from head to toe. My underwear was still wet 4 hours later. FML

#21389865
48 comments

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

#21389862
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22074) - you deserved it (15776)

On 04/08/2015 at 6:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

randomname98's comment : Aren't you supposed to share a bed with him? I thought that was one of the reasons to get married.

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Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31352) - you deserved it (4655)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Dreamsorrow93's comment : Apperently not everything is a dildo if you're brave enough.

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Today, I was talking with my mother. As we went to say goodbye, she said "I love you". Out of habit of saying I love you to my girlfriend, I said, "Love you too babe". FML

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

#21389410
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (3319)

On 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16372) - you deserved it (40416)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
101 comments

Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML

#21389237
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32747) - you deserved it (2527)

On 04/07/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by f my lifw - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to it raining. My area really needs it, so it's great. I didn't expect to wake up to a hole in the roof though. FML

Today, after over six weeks of not getting a single shift at my part time job, I finally went in to meet my new manager. He didn't even know I existed. Apparently my old manager lied and said I quit so they hired someone else. FML

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29595) - you deserved it (1994)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)



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