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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

#21390617
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30330) - you deserved it (2010)

On 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by gross - United States (Michigan)

patrickalamo's comment : So are you thinking your boyfriend tried it on first?

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Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

#21390594
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (3194)

On 04/09/2015 at 11:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

#21390568
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (2210)

On 04/09/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by fedupson - United States (California)

aclark2523's comment : To everybody saying that this is stressful for the mom, remember your first time driving. Her mother screaming does not make the stress any better.

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Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML

#21390474
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (3053)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:55am - work - by jackzz - Vietnam (Dac Lac)

Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML

#21390441
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27373) - you deserved it (2347)

On 04/09/2015 at 2:25am - misc - by ifeelsoloved (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

haileyrows's comment : You should have told them you were, in fact, sick. Sick of their bullshit

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Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

#21390271
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31335) - you deserved it (2979)

On 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm - love - by Heart-Broken - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

#21390121
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29069) - you deserved it (3707)

On 04/08/2015 at 5:17pm - misc - by Notre_Dame_714 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (6782)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18695) - you deserved it (15109)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33201) - you deserved it (3541)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16395) - you deserved it (30812)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

#21389932
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28047) - you deserved it (1906)

On 04/08/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by rUs7up1d (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)



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