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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

#21359436
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (4357)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

lowkeybelieber's comment : It's your job to tell her what's okay and what's not in YOUR house. Just because she's family doesn't give her the right to push you around.

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Today, my extremely hot coworker told me that I smelled good. At a complete loss for words, I replied, "Oh, I'm sure I don't." FML

#21359386
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26587) - you deserved it (4764)

On 02/19/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by thisiswhyimavirgin (man) - United States (Texas)

Guard_Babe's comment : I do stuff like this all the time! Only, someone will sneeze and I'll say "you're welcome" or something stupid like that.

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Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

#21359275
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36959) - you deserved it (3271)

On 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm - money - by D: - United States (Colorado)

thawny's comment : Just keep pedalling.

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Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

#21359155
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (2079)

On 02/19/2015 at 11:24am - work - by Taylor Page - United States (Florida)

Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson on cleanliness, I tripped and landed on a dog turd. FML

#21359149
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (2730)

On 02/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my attention-seeking, insanely thick co-worker explained that due to her new diet she can't eat bread. She "can eat pizza" though. When we pointed out that they’re pretty much made of the same ingredients, she wouldn’t believe us. I sit right behind this idiot every day. FML

#21359143
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28981) - you deserved it (2321)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:47am - work - by Vercsi (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was off from school because of an extremely bad barking cough. My neighbours called the police because apparently my cough sounds like someone torturing an animal. FML

#21359104
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28518) - you deserved it (1921)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:46am - animals - by Animal cruelty (man) - Australia

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

#21359096
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28162) - you deserved it (3604)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16893) - you deserved it (28990)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

#21358633
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (2057)

On 02/18/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by breyn (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML

#21358578
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13383) - you deserved it (55688)

On 02/18/2015 at 1:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my dad still refuses to repay the loan I gave him. I've just barely managed to pay my bills, and I'm now so poor that I'll have to survive the next 3 days until my next paycheck by eating the only thing left in my fridge: a jar of cheese whiz. FML

#21358559
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31837) - you deserved it (2965)

On 02/18/2015 at 12:17pm - money - by janused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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