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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got stuck in the elevator at work. When I was finally let out, my boss decided I shouldn't get a lunch break, because I'd already had over an hour off work while in the elevator. I had to starve through 5 more hours of work. FML

#21460168
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (1448)

On 08/24/2015 at 5:28pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Liguria)

I_lost_the_game's comment : Is that even legal?

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Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror and she quickly excused herself. That was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML

#21460121
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (2103)

On 08/24/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

MissCloudy249's comment : You must have a killer smile, OP!

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Today, I was just a few days away from starting the training for my promotion to management, which involved a healthy pay raise and full time benefits. Today, news came down that the company is filing for bankruptcy. FML

#21460116
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22460) - you deserved it (1326)

On 08/24/2015 at 2:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was unaware that me losing my virginity was also breakup sex. FML

#21460101
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (2301)

On 08/24/2015 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

cutycat136's comment : I know that a lot of these posts are going to be jokes, but I really am sorry that your first time had to be like that op. That really would suck.

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Today, I was at my summer babysitting job. The family's dog puked on the carpet and I proceeded to clean it up with baking soda and a mix of water/vinegar. Instead of blending in with the other areas of the carpet, the one spot I cleaned is white while the other areas are still darkened by filth. FML

#21460085
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20680) - you deserved it (2062)

On 08/24/2015 at 1:32pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

#21459977
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19031) - you deserved it (8201)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML

#21459919
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15462) - you deserved it (21094)

On 08/24/2015 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some change. Not having any cash, I gave him a gift card for the restaurant I work at. When I got home I realized I gave him my credit card. FML

Today, I had my driver's permit in an envelope to keep it safe and a letter to mail out. I drove away from the post office with the letter in my hand. FML

#21459843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17279) - you deserved it (7391)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:40pm - misc - by JadeDemolition (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to upgrade to Windows 10. I wanted to keep my old files on the current hard drive, I clicked on the keep old files option. Thanks to Windows, I lost everything. FML

#21459683
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20182) - you deserved it (4914)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Arrkyna (man) -

Today, I was at a concert and the performer told everyone to wave their phones in the air. I threw my hand up and then a huge woman caught my iPhone and disappeared into the crowd. FML

#21459682
58 comments

Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML

#21459680
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18831) - you deserved it (5019)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML

#21459659
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12698) - you deserved it (12256)

On 08/23/2015 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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