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Today, an old lady was walking behind me. She tripped and started to fall, so naturally I turned and outstretched my arms to catch her, but was too late. A man turned just in time to see an old lady on the ground with me with my arms stretched out. I now have a black eye. FML

#21380543
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29668) - you deserved it (2173)

On 03/24/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by why me - United States (Georgia)

CM707's comment : Too many people jump to conclusions too fast.

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Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML

#21380389
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (2364)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:49pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25330) - you deserved it (13260)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

abNormal62's comment : So apparently, neither of you were completely stable when this occurred?

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Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

#21380308
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29310) - you deserved it (2198)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:19pm - misc - by jumanji (man) -

_kyleG_'s comment : It's always so sunny in Cali- even the showers are golden!

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Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML

#21380298
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23129) - you deserved it (2274)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML

#21380086
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (231) - you deserved it (3340)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:51am - money - by stuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35995) - you deserved it (2221)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

#21380050
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you deserved it (2474)

On 03/23/2015 at 10:24am - love - by twelvie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (212) - you deserved it (3250)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (2437)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

#21379759
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (3031)

On 03/22/2015 at 9:58pm - kids - by Mary C. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32035) - you deserved it (6497)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

#21379703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26533) - you deserved it (17)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:20pm - misc - by dicedicebaby - United States (Ohio)



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