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Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (2176)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

californiapoppy's comment : Just stop in their driveway at 3am for a nice wake up call and thank you

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Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28302) - you deserved it (2747)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

sharkgirl4's comment : I don't even know what to say other than I hope they weren't your panties and I'm so sorry

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Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

catherine012's comment : Shouldn't there have been a description of the event? I feel like if it was made for children, it would have been obvious when it was advertised.

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Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

#21411735
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24955) - you deserved it (3759)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by fuckingdonuts - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

#21411568
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23571) - you deserved it (1745)

On 05/17/2015 at 5:27pm - work - by lily_marleen (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, in bare consciousness, I found out what it feels like to be stabbed in the hand with an earring. How? By slamming my hand on the snooze button of my alarm and missing horribly. FML

#21411522
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23049) - you deserved it (5572)

On 05/17/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by norpedo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

#21411484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12563) - you deserved it (28011)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm - health - by Idle_Twin - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML

#21411475
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26047) - you deserved it (1736)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:47pm - love - by hobo - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

#21411436
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (9435)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:13pm - work - by smellynelly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML

#21411433
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26931) - you deserved it (2572)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:08pm - love - by creepedoutmom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

#21411404
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22560) - you deserved it (5989)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:05am - health - by no more flips - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11408) - you deserved it (39820)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, after getting my dream job and quitting old one, I was told my position is strictly "experimental" and will only last 2 months. FML

#21411308
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (3080)

On 05/17/2015 at 2:31am - work - by fuckkkkk - United States (California)



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