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Today, while watching a family movie, my mother made every effort to make sure I covered my eyes during a kissing scene. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, since she still forces me to put my phone in her room every night as she makes me go to bed at 8:30 PM. FML

#21432771
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (2976)

On 06/27/2015 at 11:01am - misc - by anonynous - United States (North Carolina)

talking_toilet's comment : How old are you exactly?

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Today, my parents heard about the decision to make same-sex marriage legal in all states. They're so outraged that they're even talking about getting a house in Canada. They're in for a surprise. FML

#21432698
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26996) - you deserved it (2233)

On 06/27/2015 at 5:38am - misc - by MovingtoCanada (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Baustigt's comment : No! Don't let them! Canada doesn't deserve that!

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Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24764) - you deserved it (1878)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

pikachurro's comment : Forget about the groceries, someone bag those bags!

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Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

#21432636
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22644) - you deserved it (1560)

On 06/27/2015 at 1:48am - work - by *cough* *cough* you're a dickface (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (2129)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29134) - you deserved it (2085)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML

#21432524
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19590) - you deserved it (6147)

On 06/26/2015 at 8:57pm - misc - by college estudiata (woman) -

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24010) - you deserved it (2534)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML

#21432440
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (1489)

On 06/26/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother tried cremating our deceased cat. In the oven. My nose has killed itself. FML

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

#21432396
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (2431)

On 06/26/2015 at 4:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML

#21432392
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (7275)

On 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm - work - by very analytical (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

#21432346
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11361) - you deserved it (34594)

On 06/26/2015 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)



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