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Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9395) - you deserved it (1780)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

#1487
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9142) - you deserved it (34468)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

#1485
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19406) - you deserved it (2037)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:17pm - love - by C2 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML

#1483
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9815) - you deserved it (18916)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by ishweta56 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I printed my 10 page econometrics problem set questions out on $15/100 sheet ivory resume paper that I'd accidentally left in the paper tray on my printer. It turned out to be the wrong assignment. FML

#1482
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5920) - you deserved it (11205)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Nathan - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

#1471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15027) - you deserved it (1632)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:57pm - kids - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

#1468
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7818) - you deserved it (31405)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:40pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

#1465
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20646) - you deserved it (1921)

On 01/17/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by Shantoya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML

#1459
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4922) - you deserved it (32515)

On 01/17/2009 at 1:41pm - health - by zaneey - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML

#1452
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16582) - you deserved it (1363)

On 01/17/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by millzee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in class, I volunteered to read a poem out loud. I accidentally said "circumcised" instead of "circumscribed". I don't think I"ll be volunteering to read anything more. FML

#1446
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12121) - you deserved it (3483)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by EpicFail - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

#1440
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22630) - you deserved it (6486)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Perpetually F-ed. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML

#1439
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12690) - you deserved it (4160)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by BobbyMalone - Canada (Ontario)



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