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Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

#21522878
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18457) - you deserved it (1434)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Baustigt's comment : Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable if the medication had a catchy name, or a theme song. That's how advertisers get us to like stuff all the time. "Friendly Foam, your anal friend. Soft warm foam for a soft rear end."

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Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

#21522856
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18461) - you deserved it (2783)

On 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by sandra (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Moskaaa7's comment : Ha. I just love how you suggested the fair play. This is something every guy should think about before asking their girl for anal. You go girl!

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Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

#21522828
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16696) - you deserved it (3959)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Silly_Lilly6969's comment : So you're telling me I could snitch on people to pay my bills?

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Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#21522820
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17432) - you deserved it (1699)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to hide in the closet all morning because my 22-year-old boyfriend didn't want to admit to his parents that he had his girlfriend stay the night. FML

#21522776
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (3157)

On 02/04/2016 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by doodlecrzyMeg (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

#21522725
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (1413)

On 02/04/2016 at 10:16am - animals - by uninvited (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML

#21522719
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (1303)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:53am - intimacy - by concernedsis - United States (Georgia)

Today, after being told numerous times how sexist the East Coast is, I went ahead with my East Coast grad school architecture interview. The first thing out of the interviewer's mouth was, "Are you sure you don't want to do interior architecture?" FML

#21522710
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19413) - you deserved it (2504)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:13am - work - by LL (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

#21522623
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18228) - you deserved it (1487)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:59pm - health - by FueledByFate - United States (Arizona)

Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML

#21522618
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18777) - you deserved it (1631)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:47pm - misc - by InDebt (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (1442)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20736) - you deserved it (1957)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (3813)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)



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