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Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML

#21397585
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (2787)

On 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Notthatone (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

bekkylove22's comment : It's actually brilliant because you were able to explain it to her before any prejudices could reach her.

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Today, whilst in the last week of my notice period, I was instructed by my boss to tell six new employees that their jobs had fallen through before they'd even started. Later that afternoon, I received a call from my line manager. Guess whose own job has fallen through too. FML

#21397399
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23206) - you deserved it (1692)

On 04/21/2015 at 12:45pm - work - by Karma (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

#21397382
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (2351)

On 04/21/2015 at 11:40am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

muzy's comment : kindly remind her of what she told you before she left, and then finish the sentence by mumbling "bitch" under your breath. that'll teach her!

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Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24869) - you deserved it (2952)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)

hsbzjsnsos's comment : Well.... at least she's not attracted to someone else

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Today, I was walking in the shoes I'm going to wear for a wedding and fell, spraining my ankle. I'm the Matron of Honor and I can barely walk. The wedding is in three days. FML

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27691) - you deserved it (2304)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

#21397265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23681) - you deserved it (8849)

On 04/21/2015 at 3:55am - health - by Not dying. (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I found out the only reason my parents haven't kicked me out yet is because of my OCD which makes me clean the house every single day. FML

#21397145
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27860) - you deserved it (2947)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:42pm - misc - by Zach - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

#21397058
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27757) - you deserved it (1838)

On 04/20/2015 at 8:16pm - health - by Phabia - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiance and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML

#21397047
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you deserved it (3636)

On 04/20/2015 at 7:55pm - kids - by ChildFree (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

#21396978
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22621) - you deserved it (2748)

On 04/20/2015 at 5:41pm - misc - by Deli meat prom - United States (Texas)

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (2999)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

#21396824
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25574) - you deserved it (6418)

On 04/20/2015 at 1:01pm - love - by fatass - United States (Nebraska)



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