Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend asked me to go to a car show. I told him to hold on, I had to ask my mom. I quietly asked her to say no for me. She said "Sure!". FML

#4294
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6636) - you deserved it (28997)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:25pm - love - by oicwydt - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

#4288
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10226) - you deserved it (18863)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by joe - United States (California)

infantrygirl's comment : Lindsey, what the hell do you mean by that?? First, 99.9999% of military men and women would NOT overreact like that, so your comment is unfair. Second, if he is in the military, and he has PTSD, you, as an ignorant civvi, have NO right to judge him. Learn some respect for those who risk their lives for your freedom.

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Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15981) - you deserved it (2736)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

#4243
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24931) - you deserved it (1912)

On 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by toosmall - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6635) - you deserved it (28240)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

#4209
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17494) - you deserved it (6445)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by helloworld92 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

#4206
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14374) - you deserved it (1919)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Lady of Sorrows - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

#4196
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38682) - you deserved it (5035)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)

Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20181) - you deserved it (1566)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (4926)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25572) - you deserved it (4449)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

#4119
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (4323)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by fuckit - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27300) - you deserved it (9387)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)



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