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Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML

#6309781
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45746) - you deserved it (3218)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:51am - love - by irishbitch (woman) -

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

#6309231
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28689) - you deserved it (5961)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by John (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I decided to wear a tight, long-sleeved shirt that showed off my body. As I was trying to roll up my sleeves, I realized how tight this shirt really was. It wouldn't budge past my elbow and I tugged to hard I ended up punching myself in the eye. I now have a swollen, black and blue eye. FML

#6308851
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8895) - you deserved it (35442)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

#6308799
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27596) - you deserved it (2486)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:12am - work - by hanmart (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sent a get well card to my friend. it wasn't until after I got home from posting it did I realise that the stamps I put on the envelope had the phrase "Let's Get Active" on them with drawings of people playing sports. My friend is in a wheelchair. FML

#6303407
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26189) - you deserved it (11715)

On 11/14/2009 at 5:26pm - health - by Insensitive (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML

#6303119
478 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17531) - you deserved it (45321)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

giganticbrain's comment : Fucking take them and be happy, asshole.

See all the comments →

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8249) - you deserved it (72642)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

#6301645
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12418) - you deserved it (40429)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

#6300869
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40862) - you deserved it (2765)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by asthma_attacker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of six years broke up with me for a girl he's known for less than 72 hours. Why? He wanted someone pure. I lost my virginity to him five years ago. FML

#6300717
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44212) - you deserved it (4063)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by unengaged (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

#6300259
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (6948)

On 11/14/2009 at 12:31pm - misc - by SpeakerPhone (woman) - France (Alsace)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9701) - you deserved it (29971)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20851) - you deserved it (35317)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)



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