Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

#13081753
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30022) - you deserved it (3704)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:43am - love - by anime_love - United States

Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I am now in charge of driving my friends home after they had an awesome night. FML

#13081151
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (9131)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by happy bday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38213) - you deserved it (3533)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML

#13078178
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46657) - you deserved it (6012)

On 09/16/2010 at 8:35pm - intimacy - by Laura - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to dye my hair to freshen up my appearance. I asked my husband for his opinion, expecting him to recommend a color. He then asked me why going on a diet wasn't my first option. FML

#13077269
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (11025)

On 09/16/2010 at 7:27pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML

#13075106
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (13122)

On 09/16/2010 at 4:06pm - misc - by locker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML

#13074561
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34210) - you deserved it (2760)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm - health - by hmb - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my ex-boyfriend's mother came up to me at school, yelling and causing a scene in front of everyone for breaking her son's heart. We broke up over a year ago because he was cheating on me. FML

#13073501
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (2444)

On 09/16/2010 at 12:23pm - love - by whatabitch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML

#13072362
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (4041)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:17am - health - by gretel (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while tearfully telling my closest friends that I had miscarried my first pregnancy, the first thing out of their mouths was, 'So, does this mean you're going to start drinking with us again?' FML

#13071693
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41032) - you deserved it (4201)

On 09/16/2010 at 6:59am - kids - by mommymo (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32315) - you deserved it (3187)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, I got a call from this girl I really like. Surprised, as I never get anything other than a text from her, I answered. All I heard were rustling sounds. She had pocket dialed me. FML

#13070669
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29736) - you deserved it (4885)

On 09/16/2010 at 3:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (19137)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: