Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11680) - you deserved it (38129)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML

#11846674
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36684) - you deserved it (12084)

On 07/13/2010 at 5:22am - misc - by Sally - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML

#11846185
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14360) - you deserved it (38455)

On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40280) - you deserved it (10206)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, tired of my social anxiety making me look uncool, I told everyone I was going out partying tonight. I'm actually just going to watch 'Jersey Shore' and pretend I'm with the cast. Something even more sad? I'm really excited. FML

#11838934
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30467) - you deserved it (17246)

On 07/12/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by Fefe (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML

#11834698
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17604) - you deserved it (26398)

On 07/12/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML

#11832599
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34992) - you deserved it (4889)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:56pm - animals - by maggotsinmycarpet - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

#11831310
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12697) - you deserved it (68626)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

#11825114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33237) - you deserved it (5186)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by Wrongtoilet (man) - Singapore

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

#11824802
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15891) - you deserved it (47932)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:52am - health - by fat - United States

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

#11822589
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (8156)

On 07/12/2010 at 1:38am - animals - by LexiBoBexi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

#11821332
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40842) - you deserved it (3059)

On 07/12/2010 at 12:31am - health - by Sarah220 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33921) - you deserved it (10025)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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