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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML

#8548832
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (1714)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

#8547609
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26677) - you deserved it (2574)

On 02/22/2010 at 6:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML

#8547021
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26702) - you deserved it (1705)

On 02/22/2010 at 5:13am - misc - by OMFG (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (2207)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

#8544581
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9182) - you deserved it (22499)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by depressed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

zebra_pillow's comment : why would you f**k a drunk girl anyways that's like rape

See all the comments →

Today, I found out that my most amazing spring break ever, will be spent stuck on a ship with my ex. It's been almost two years, and he still isn't over me. Yay. This cruise shall be fun. FML

#8542819
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21345) - you deserved it (5572)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:31am - love - by nomoresbfun (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

#8541185
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23797) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:44am - health - by Username - United States

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

#8540042
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (3302)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:17am - love - by shwasted (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

#8539206
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28292) - you deserved it (2409)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by sandiego - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

#8532673
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7266) - you deserved it (26493)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:14pm - animals - by Rafiki (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

#8529668
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (3253)

On 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Court - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML

#8528184
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (2533)

On 02/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by burnnnnn (woman) - Ecuador (Azuay)

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. I leaned down to get something out of my bag and hit my head on some protruding concrete. I said I was fine. Then blood came running down my face. FML

#8525883
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23247) - you deserved it (2571)

On 02/21/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by erin1985 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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