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Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33560) - you deserved it (1834)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

cocoshake's comment : report him for stalking

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Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

#21355373
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27848) - you deserved it (2051)

On 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm - work - by Anonynonynon (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

#21355326
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27126) - you deserved it (2931)

On 02/13/2015 at 12:33pm - misc - by Innocence (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Jasim's comment : A man remembers an argument? That's a first.

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Today, my "best friend" stole almost $1,000 worth of electronics and video games from my roommates and me, just so he could pawn them off and buy himself a new car stereo. FML

#21355305
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (2629)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:36am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Liamj774's comment : Maybe you could pawn him for a new friend

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Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

#21355292
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31437) - you deserved it (3736)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:13am - love - by cyprianista - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

#21355268
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27504) - you deserved it (7045)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

#21355097
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31664) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm - money - by NotMacklemore - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I introduced my dad to my girlfriend. He looked her up and down and said to her, "Beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?" FML

Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML

#21354774
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29962) - you deserved it (1950)

On 02/12/2015 at 3:14pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

#21354746
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26935) - you deserved it (2459)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:16pm - health - by Dartfrogger - United States (Utah)



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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
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Friday 27 February 2015

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