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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

#21372194
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27344) - you deserved it (5578)

On 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm - misc - by Blonde - Canada (Ontario)

danthehuman's comment : The CD player was a lie.

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Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

#21372086
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17988) - you deserved it (25664)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm - love - by MyPrecious... (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

#21372077
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28309) - you deserved it (3131)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:19pm - misc - by Daughter of the year - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

feven's comment : Don't you just love supportive mothers?

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Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12968) - you deserved it (44805)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

oathkeeper99's comment : Hey, don't dish it out if you can't take it!

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Today, I was stopped in the grocery store by a stranger, who berated me, quite loudly, for going out in public in my pajamas. I had just gotten off work and was wearing scrubs. FML

#21372027
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (1925)

On 03/10/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by katgib13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32952) - you deserved it (3360)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I got a new haircut. I was feeling pretty confident, until coworkers and family members kept making comments like, "I think you gained a little weight", "You look older" and "Do you still like guys?" Apparently, my new haircut changed my waist size and my sexual orientation. FML

#21371884
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27447) - you deserved it (2624)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:47pm - misc - by Lovemynewhaircut (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

#21371880
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26272) - you deserved it (3755)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:43pm - kids - by LameChef (man) - Poland

Today, I lost a grade on an essay, because according to my teacher, I put much more detail into my analytical essay than I should have. FML

#21371844
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30353) - you deserved it (2631)

On 03/10/2015 at 1:36pm - misc - by writerflaw - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

#21371826
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (6339)

On 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by parkoursam - United States (Illinois)

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

#21371753
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30385) - you deserved it (7228)

On 03/10/2015 at 9:27am - misc - by oh well - United States

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

#21371721
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (4569)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:28am - work - by schoolsucks - United States (Colorado)

Today, my ex-boyfriend asked me to homecoming, in front of the whole school, knowing I have social anxiety. I was forced to say yes to not seem like an asshole. Now I can't back out. FML

#21371675
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31187) - you deserved it (5843)

On 03/10/2015 at 4:03am - love - by TooMuchAnxiety (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



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Thursday 19 March 2015

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