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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35281) - you deserved it (3389)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

silverstream20's comment : To be fair, that is not entirely wrong, considering a tampon works like a sponge anyway. I say A for effort.

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Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

#21356030
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26413) - you deserved it (2361)

On 02/14/2015 at 3:04pm - love - by hopeless - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

#21355983
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (2056)

On 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

bearstyle22's comment : Was it over flowing?

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Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28754) - you deserved it (8970)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

tot5t's comment : While I agree that "vajayjay" is a cringeworthy word, I wouldn't have laughed. No one wants to be laughed at in bed, you should have known that OP.

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Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

#21355845
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35056) - you deserved it (1835)

On 02/14/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by secret - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML

#21355802
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29138) - you deserved it (1883)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:14am - health - by u wot? (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30850) - you deserved it (2922)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

#21355623
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (3095)

On 02/13/2015 at 10:49pm - love - by FMAhole - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34603) - you deserved it (2909)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34454) - you deserved it (2325)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33007) - you deserved it (3376)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML

#21355470
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28799) - you deserved it (2951)

On 02/13/2015 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (1977)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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