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Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (5043)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

TurquoiseJesus's comment : must resist making the obvious Alabama joke.

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Today, I told my grandpa that I want to join the police force. His response: "You wanna lynch some blacks without the jail time, eh?" FML

#21521366
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20446) - you deserved it (2194)

On 01/31/2016 at 3:13am - work - by onlyjuggalos (man) - United States

ihartmytdi's comment : Tell him you're actually more interested in the high speed horse-drawn carriage chases.

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Today, I confronted my husband about a pair of panties I found in his office. They're his. He put them on to show me that they fit. FML

Zufallian's comment : Better that they belong to him than someone else I guess?

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Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML

#21521208
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (2095)

On 01/30/2016 at 4:54pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I realized I wasn't getting notifications for my voicemail, so I decided to check it and found out that I had 3 job offerings that are no longer an option. FML

#21521192
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21161) - you deserved it (3424)

On 01/30/2016 at 4:05pm - work - by thanks iphone - United States (Kentucky)

Today, when I went to see my therapist, she handed me a tube of tooth paste and said, "Please use it". FML

Today, a car backfired as I waited for my bus and I screamed, thinking I'd been shot. The only thing more humiliating than that was the pissy underwear I had to go back home to change out of. FML

#21521061
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17414) - you deserved it (5346)

On 01/30/2016 at 5:30am - misc - by AV (man) - Bulgaria (Plovdiv)

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for not showing up to work yesterday. It seems going into anaphylactic shock isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21521056
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (1240)

On 01/30/2016 at 4:33am - health - by Allergic to Assholes - United States (Indiana)

Today, I rushed over to stop my infant daughter from falling off her swing. Luckily just before she hit the ground, I woke up. Unfortunately, I woke up because I'd rolled off my bed and hit the floor. FML

#21521050
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18304) - you deserved it (1613)

On 01/30/2016 at 3:56am - kids - by MandieL - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML

#21521037
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19980) - you deserved it (5852)

On 01/30/2016 at 2:45am - money - by :/ - United States (Arizona)

Today, while crying at my grandma's funeral I was told to man up. FML

#21521027
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21597) - you deserved it (1590)

On 01/30/2016 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML

#21521010
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21717) - you deserved it (2207)

On 01/30/2016 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had the most uncomfortable feeling in my socks, but I didn't care to check. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that the feeling was a small thin piece of glass that was slowly cutting away at the bottom of my foot. I still don't know how it got there. FML

#21520994
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18754) - you deserved it (4188)

On 01/29/2016 at 10:54pm - misc - by MemoKrosav (man) - Mexico (Tamaulipas)



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