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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30145) - you deserved it (3691)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Pancakes017's comment : How romantic

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Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28386) - you deserved it (1887)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Grenith's comment : Hop on the nope train to fuckthatshitville.

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Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

ireply_wlyrics's comment : What? He calls you the c word and blows off your illness? horrid. stay strong, OP.

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Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (3954)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (1997)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you deserved it (2697)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

#21364862
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24679) - you deserved it (1786)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:25pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25693) - you deserved it (1941)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24706) - you deserved it (2190)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23703) - you deserved it (2633)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (2392)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28989) - you deserved it (2027)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30071) - you deserved it (2132)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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Friday 27 February 2015

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